I’ve been moved into my new apartment at school for about a week now. As I write this, I’m in my nice, big room furnished with a desk, wardrobe, bureau, and bed. I’m surrounded by pictures of my family and friends. I realize how fortunate I am to be here and I’m excited for the year to kick off and be fun and productive.
However, I can’t help but feel just a bit low right now. Physically, my sugars have been all over the place, and I’ve had more lows than I’d like in the past week. In fact, the other night I had to deal with a low that left me in the 60s range for almost an entire hour. From midnight to one, when I desperately wanted to sleep, I was busy shoving glucose tablets in my mouth and testing approximately every fifteen minutes. Needless to say, it was not fun, particularly when my CGM went off more than once to tell me that I was dropping to the 50s. Finally, around one in the morning, I was back up to 128 and felt well enough to drift off to sleep. I woke up at 210, which isn’t ideal, but I’d rather be there than back to the disorienting 60s.
Mentally, I’m somewhat drained from coming back to school. I find that during the first week back, I’m caught up in a whirlwind of stress between unpacking, going to class, doing homework, planning my meals, and maintaining a semblance of a social life. And I get struck by homesickness more than I’d like to admit. I do enjoy school, but I miss my loved ones and the comforts of home.
Granted, I knew to expect all this when I returned to school. In my last blog, I talked about how the first few weeks are pretty nutty. But I’m human, and sometimes diabetes interferes with my feelings more than I would like. I’m allowed to have these moments when I’m feeling a little defeated. However, I find writing to be therapeutic, and it feels good to be voicing my frustrations. I could let my lowness hang over me like a rain cloud, but I know that venting will help clear the skies and make room for the sunshine that good blood sugars will bring.