Did I mention I have 2-year old twins?\u00a0 Well, I do.\u00a0 I feel very lucky.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve got the kids a lot during the week because I\u2019m a freelancer and a proud PTSAHD (part-time-stay-at-home-dad).\u00a0 Amongst the diaper-changing-in-the-park and not-letting-them-run-into-the-street duties, I realized that I also get to teach the kids a lot of things including what\u2019s funny \u2013 or what I think is funny.\u00a0 I\u2019m in charge of their senses of humor.\u00a0 For now at least.\u00a0 And lately one thing that cracks them up is when I ask; \u201cwhat is Daddy?\u201d they now answer, \u201cDope.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I was hoping for \u201cfunny\u201d as an answer, but\u00a0 recently I must have done something I shouldn\u2019t have and exclaimed aloud; \u201cOh, daddy is such a dope!\u201d\u00a0 They hear EVERYTHING.\u00a0 They actually seem to say; \u201cDaddy is dope.\u201d\u00a0 Now I know that if I was more street, or I felt like they were, I could rationalize that they are using a wayback machine and calling me \u201ccool\u201d circa 1995.\u00a0 Luckily I think they just think it\u2019s a funny word because we all laugh after they say it.<\/p>\n
However, now that I\u2019ve started this blog, the \u201ddope\u201d label is not so off the mark.<\/p>\n
I opened the door with my first post to explaining a little bit about my history of ignoring\/denying my diabetic condition, but now I\u2019ll push it in.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get back to the future in the next post, but for now I guess I have my bad back to thank for me even knowing that I had such high blood sugar levels.<\/p>\n
In 1993, I felt a twinge.\u00a0 I\u2019m not even sure I remember exactly how it happened, but since I\u2019m in triatholon-type shape (I\u2019m SO NOT), I ignored it and kept on working \u2013 during the day slumped over a desk at my architecture firm, at night performing and\/or rehearsing a show I was directing.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t slow down until my body made me.\u00a0 It made me go see a doctor, which I hadn\u2019t done in about, forever.\u00a0 It was then, while playing catch-up on everything that was wrong with me that I discovered (due credit, the doctor discovered) a blood sugar level in the 300s.\u00a0 I had ignored all the signs before hand \u2013 primarily that I was getting up to pee in the middle of the night every night the last few months before this.\u00a0 I was a dope.<\/p>\n
I immediately got the lecture, the info, the fear-of-god speech \u2013 and some drugs.\u00a0 At the time I took this very seriously.\u00a0 I ended up having back surgery and going through physical therapy.\u00a0 My life slowed down and I took my drugs, I did my exercises, I lost some weight, I made some attempts at eating better.\u00a0 My numbers started to look good after several months.\u00a0 Yay me.\u00a0 And then, as I started to feel better, I did the dopiest thing of all, I let the rationalization monster into my life.\u00a0 I was feeling good so why not fill my plate up again with a main course of work, with heaping piles of play on the side?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t leave much room for my disease, because, hey, I had the drugs and they seemed to be working.\u00a0\u00a0 After those several months, I started to have small lapses in stupid stupid ways \u2013\u00a0 maybe I didn\u2019t have time to pick up my prescriptions because of (fill-in-the-blank), but so what, I feel fine\u2026 or I don\u2019t have time to make myself something good for me, so I\u2019ll just grab a quick bite for lunch\u2026 and dinner\u2026 and snacks at the bar after the show.\u00a0 I let my lifestyle get in the way of my life.<\/p>\n
(I should say that the one thing I have going for me \u2013 that\u2019s I\u2019ve always had going for me \u2013 is that I don\u2019t drink alcohol (the first posting aside, it\u2019s very rare that I do).\u00a0 Everyone else is drinking up a storm at the bar after a show and I\u2019m having a diet coke.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t smoke (anything).\u00a0 My blood pressure has always remained normal.)<\/p>\n
Suffice to say this was a pattern that has repeated itself over the years.\u00a0 I had another back surgery in 1998 (cue sound of roller coaster dipping fast), but luckily nothing else major since then.\u00a0 Except for this darn diabetes thing that won\u2019t go away.<\/p>\n
I used to improvise a bit where I played a bad stand-up comic who had lines like; \u201cThe other day I got some mail\u2026 this ever happen to you?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Well,\u00a0I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m typical.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if everyone dealing with this has had these experiences of feeling like a dope.\u00a0 But I hope that by writing about it, I\u2019m taking another step to remind myself that I\u2019ve got to take care of myself.<\/p>\n
Especially for those kids.\u00a0 Did I mention how cute they are?<\/p>\n
The ride continues\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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