Yesterday I had diabetes denial. \u00a0I took a little taste of Adam’s French toast at breakfast and assumed it wouldn’t have an impact on my blood sugar. \u00a0I guessed it couldn’t have been more than five grams of carb. \u00a0That was all I ate until around 2 p.m. when I had some yogurt (7 grams of carb) with two tablespoons of almond butter mixed in. \u00a0That yogurt and almond butter meal is something I eat almost daily. \u00a0It makes me very full and has almost no effect on my blood sugar. \u00a0It’s always a sure thing. \u00a0The only problem is that diabetes is never a sure thing. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Immediately after eating I began to feel sleepy. \u00a0Within a few minutes I started to feel like I couldn’t keep my eyes open. \u00a0Adam was sitting on my lap. \u00a0“Let’s go to the couch and watch TV,” I said. \u00a0I didn’t feel like I could stay alert enough to take care of him. \u00a0To me, that’s about as scary as it gets. \u00a0I wasn’t losing consciousness, but I was not all there. \u00a0<\/p>\n
I lay down on the couch with Adam on my legs. \u00a0I told him he should take a nap with me. \u00a0(He doesn’t say take a nap<\/em>, he says “I’m a nap” when he tries to take one.) \u00a0He was clearly not a nap at that moment. \u00a0He was all energy and I felt like there were weights on my eyelids. But this wasn’t the ordinary exhaustion of a busy mother. \u00a0This was the fog of high blood sugar. \u00a0I knew it, but I was too tired to care. \u00a0I was too tired to do anything about it. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n As I rested, part of my mind was telling me to check my blood sugar. \u00a0Another part explained that I had eaten the same thing I always eat, so there was nothing to worry about. \u00a0I was just really tired. \u00a0Classic\u00a0diabetes denial. \u00a0Yet another part was lecturing about LADA and the gradual death of my beta cells. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Maybe today was the day they totally pooped out. \u00a0No more honeymoon. \u00a0No more being able to tolerate 10 grams of carb mixed with fat without a bolus. Type 1 diabetes. \u00a0The real thing. \u00a0Dead and useless beta cells. \u00a0<\/p>\n It took me about an hour to come out of the fog. \u00a0Adam was climbing on and off the couch, watching TV and playing beside me. I didn’t get up to check my blood sugar. \u00a0I could feel it coming down. \u00a0I just know the feeling. \u00a0It’s like coming out of a dream. \u00a0<\/p>\n The more alert I became, the more aware I became that Adam had emptied an entire package of new diapers and placed them all around my body. \u00a0It wasn’t that I hadn’t known it was happening as it happened. \u00a0I just couldn’t react to it with the giggles it deserved until the dream was over. \u00a0<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":53098,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1501],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n