{"id":34415,"date":"2013-02-05T03:44:55","date_gmt":"2013-02-05T08:44:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=34415"},"modified":"2015-12-27T15:42:47","modified_gmt":"2015-12-27T20:42:47","slug":"the-siblings-side-of-the-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=34415","title":{"rendered":"The Sibling’s Side of the Story"},"content":{"rendered":"
I haven\u2019t talked all that much about Jamie, our 8-year-old son, in these posts, but not because Bisi\u2019s diagnosis doesn\u2019t affect him. He has had to deal with the fear of Bisi and me suddenly disappearing to go to the hospital; with the attention before meal times shifting dramatically in her direction, as we talk about what she\u2019s going to eat, test her blood sugar, and give her some insulin, and with the worry and sense of fragility her diagnosis has brought into our lives (even if he wouldn\u2019t express it that way). He asked me once if Bisi\u2019s diagnosis meant that he could get diabetes too. I told him that anyone can get T1D, but that it\u2019s not likely that he will. The truth is, he is at greater risk, because he has a first-degree relative with T1D. But if you had sat me down a year ago, explained T1D to me, and asked me which one of my children seemed more likely to get it, I would have immediately said Bisi, because of the way her moods fluctuate when she\u2019s hungry. This is not based on anything scientific, but it just means that I am not going to spend my time worrying that this will happen to Jamie.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
I think it\u2019s probably a good thing that all of us are eating less sugar than we used to. But I also don\u2019t want to limit Jamie just because there are limits on what and when his sister can eat. My very possibly imperfect solution so far has been to let Jamie have some treats when he\u2019s not with Bisi. He and I have a standing date at the local frozen yogurt shop while Bisi\u2019s otherwise occupied; and we follow a don’t tell, hope she won’t ask policy. Or, when he\u2019s having something that she can\u2019t have at home, I try to come up with a substitute she\u2019ll be excited about, or excited enough about. So, say, if he\u2019s getting a hot chocolate, I\u2019ll make her one with stevia (a natural sugar substitute made from the leaf of the stevia plant, which to me seems more inherently healthy than aspartame or saccharine).\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Yet still, nothing drives Bisi crazier than the feeling that Jamie is getting something that she can\u2019t have\u2014even if it\u2019s something she doesn\u2019t want. Whatever food-related anger she has\u2014and she must have a fair amount\u2014she focuses intensely on Jamie. She\u2019s furious if he starts eating before she does, while she\u2019s still waiting for her insulin to kick in. She can\u2019t stand it if he gets a more appealing dessert than she does. I feel like Mark or I could be across the table eating an ice cream sundae with whipped cream and sprinkles and she wouldn\u2019t care, as long as her brother is eating the same 13 carb frozen yogurt that she is. These are typical sibling dynamics in action: if something is happening to you, you want it to happen to your sibling too. (I remember when my sister once got a hair cut she hated and kept on pointing at me and yelling, \u201cCut her hair!\u201d, as if my having a terrible hair cut were the only thing that would make hers bearable.) Yet the fights over food feel especially fraught, because what they\u2019re really about is that Bisi\u2019s facing something difficult that Jamie doesn\u2019t have to.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Jamie usually reacts to Bisi\u2019s food outbursts with a look of detached bemusement. \u00a0But he loves her and occasionally he does something very sweet for her. One day we were sitting having snack, and Jamie ran up to his room and came down with $10 from his stash and handed it to Bisi. (We give both kids $3 of allowance each week, and expect them to use that money to buy themselves the things they want, in between Christmas and their birthdays. Jamie never spends his; whereas Bisi almost always spends hers the moment she gets it.) I asked him why he\u2019d given her this unsolicited gift and he said, \u201cWell, because she\u2019s going through a hard thing. Diabetes is hard, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Another time, he decided he wanted to bake cookies, and \u00a0said he wanted to make them gluten free, so Bisi could have them. We looked through some recipes and settled on one from Bob\u2019s Red Mill (whose products I\u00a0love<\/strong>\u2014more on that in another post), printed on the back of a package of teff flour, \u00a0made from the seeds of a type of grass native to North Africa.\u00a0 Jamie completed every step of the process himself, and in the end, the cookies were delicious\u2014nutty-tasting and not too sweet. The only person who didn\u2019t like them was \u2026\u00a0 Bisi. But even a six year old can understand the idea that it\u2019s the thought that counts. And for that day, at least, sibling harmony reigned.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
***<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Jamie\u2019s Cookies for Bisi<\/div>\n
(I altered the recipe I found on the back of the package of Bob\u2019s Red Mill teff flour; the orginal recipe is from\u00a0www.lesliecerier.com<\/a>)<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
1 1\/2 cups teff flour<\/div>\n
\u00bd teaspoon sea salt<\/div>\n
\u00bd cup coconut nectar (the original calls for maple syrup, but coconut nectar is supposed to be better for diabetics because it causes a more gentle spike in blood sugar)<\/div>\n
\u00bd cup coconut oil (Bob\u2019s Red Mill package calls for canola oil, which a naturopath recently told me is\u00a0terrible for everyone<\/strong>.)<\/div>\n
1 teaspoon vanilla<\/div>\n
1 cup peanut butter<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Preheat oven to 350\u00b0F. Set aside an ungreased cookie sheet.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
In a large bowl combine dry ingredients, set aside.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
In a food processor blend coconut nectar, oil (you\u2019ll have to melt it first), vanilla and peanut butter. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients; blend well. Shape dough into walnut size balls. Place on cookie sheet and flatten gently with the tines of a fork. Bake about 13-15 minutes. Cool on wire rack.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Yield: 24 cookies<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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