{"id":36654,"date":"2014-09-04T06:42:35","date_gmt":"2014-09-04T10:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=36654"},"modified":"2015-12-27T15:46:35","modified_gmt":"2015-12-27T20:46:35","slug":"injecting-insulin-liberating-painful-and-not-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=36654","title":{"rendered":"Injecting Insulin: Liberating, Painful, And Not For Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s been over a week since I ripped out my infusion set and decided it was time for a break from my insulin pump<\/a>. It wasn\u2019t a rational decision, but rather one based mainly on frustration \u2013 an inability to keep my blood sugar down.\u00a0 Even more frustrating: going back on insulin shots did not solve my blood sugar issues. Basically, all it did was make me think a little about life with diabetes and the emotional burden that comes with it.<\/p>\n

The first couple of days off the pump I felt naked, like a soldier who\u2019s lost his gun. I kept reaching for my pump every time I checked my blood sugar (to record my result) and every time I wanted to know what the time was. (I like to think of my pump as a pocket watch.) Without realizing it, my insulin pump became a part of me, part of my mannerisms. I wasn\u2019t sure I liked how attached I had become to my pump.<\/p>\n

I also felt like I needed my pump to calculate my insulin doses. It had been so long since I injected insulin that I had no clue how much insulin I need when I eat. Not only because injected insulin is less effective than pumped insulin (need less with a pump) but also because I\u2019ve gotten so used to the pump thinking for me, advising how much to inject with my meal and how much to correct when I\u2019m high.<\/p>\n

I also realized that when I inject, I don\u2019t remember how much insulin I take and when. I depend on the pump for that, too. So I downloaded an app, MySugr, which helped me with this.<\/p>\n

But then what started as a naked feeling, a feeling of being a little lost, turned into a liberating feeling. I felt light and untethered just like everyone else. I didn\u2019t wake up at night to turn over, look for a place to put my pump when I showered or got dressed and I didn\u2019t get stuck on handles and door knobs.<\/p>\n

Liberating didn\u2019t last long, though, because there\u2019s nothing like a constant blood glucose of 300 to bring you down.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Even after somewhat figuring out my correct dosage, I struggled with the issue of the not-so-flexible basal rate. The reason I went on the pump to begin with was because I suffer from the dawn phenomenon, and cannot find a bolus rate which will keep me low enough at night without then causing me to drop all day long.<\/p>\n

The other big issue is that the liberating, light and free feeling comes with an awful lot of shots, at least 10 a day. And although I hate inserting infusion sets into my body (not always painful, but always stressful), injecting all day long is painful and annoying. For the first few days I thought it would pass, that I would get used to it, but I haven\u2019t.<\/p>\n

So, after a brief vacation, one that I partly enjoyed and definitely learned from, I am back on the pump.\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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