{"id":37454,"date":"2015-01-15T11:25:08","date_gmt":"2015-01-15T16:25:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?post_type=feature&p=37454"},"modified":"2016-01-11T07:23:11","modified_gmt":"2016-01-11T12:23:11","slug":"well-intended-diabetes-comments-what-i-said-and-what-i-thought","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=37454","title":{"rendered":"Well-Intended Diabetes Comments: What I Said and What I Thought"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"What<\/a><\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: A few weeks ago we ran a very popular story<\/a> to help friends know what to say to the parent of a child with diabetes. This week, we flip that around. We hope you and your friends find it just as\u00a0useful and share.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am a \u201cD-parent.\u201d In other words, I have raised a child with diabetes through 17 years, through the days of NPH and Regular, and of meal plans. I\u2019ve raised her through the little kid years, the teen turmoil, college craziness and now, awesome young adulthood.<\/p>\n

So, needless to say, when it comes to what people will say about a raising a child with diabetes, I\u2019ve heard it all. In fact, I could probably make a list longer than Kendall Jenner\u2019s legs of all the — ahem \u2013 not so cool things people have said to me over the years.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to share a few of my favorites (favorites is a funny word for this), and how I did and didn’t<\/strong> respond. Parents can commiserate, share similar experiences, and maybe, just maybe, some non D-world folks out there will read this, think hard, and stop before opening their mouths next time something whack is about to come out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I just read that they have pills instead of shots now.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

What I Thought:<\/em> Right. Of course they do \u2013 and when I call Children\u2019s Hospital in Boston (the top rated pediatric endocrine program in America, where my child was lucky enough to be treated at the time), they are going to be so excited about your news! <\/em>Imagine all the kids who are needlessly poking themselves with needles and infusion sites when all along they could have just taken a pill.<\/p>\n

What I Said:<\/em> Thank you so much. I am not sure you are aware that there are two types of diabetes, Type 1 and Type 2. Type 1 is an autoimmune disorder in which the body no longer produces insulin. Since a pill form of actual insulin does not exist, my child still has to take shots. The pills you have heard of treat people with Type 2, who still have the ability to make insulin. Also, the shots really are almost the least of it. We don\u2019t even consider them a big deal.<\/p>\n

“OMG I could never give my kid shots! Or prick their fingers.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

What I Thought:<\/em>\u00a0I know, right? I totally considered having her put to sleep but the cost was so prohibitive.<\/p>\n

What I Said:\u00a0<\/em>It\u2019s amazing what you can adapt to and come to consider \u201cjust normal\u201d in your life. We found very quickly that not making a big deal out of things like finger pokes and shots made all this easier to take. We\u2019ve convinced ourselves that it\u2019s just another layer of living, and we go with that. I know you are a good parent; you\u2019d totally do the same. But I\u2019m glad you don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“It\u2019s been so long. Why isn\u2019t she regulated yet?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

What I Thought:<\/em>\u00a0Because I just don\u2019t love her enough. If I loved her more, her numbers would totally stabilize.<\/p>\n

What I Said:<\/em>\u00a0Type 1 diabetes means that the body does not produce insulin. And since the synthetic insulin and tools to track what it is doing in the body is still pretty crude compared to the workings of a real pancreas, there is nothing I can do to 100% \u201cregulate\u201d my child\u2019s blood sugar. In fact, you can count on things changing literally every few hours of every single day; around the clock.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I thought she had that pump implanted? Doesn\u2019t that just take care of it all now?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

What I Thought:<\/em>\u00a0Well, of course. And it also vacuums our dining room floor without me even telling it to. I just keep forgetting to flip the \u2018on\u2019 switch. You know how busy life gets.<\/p>\n

What I Said:<\/em>\u00a0The pump is an amazing tool, one of the greatest breakthroughs of the past 20 to 30 years. And pumps keep getting better. But really, a pump is just a tool. It\u2019s not smart; it cannot do what a human does. A person wearing a pump still must prick their fingers many times a day, count carbs and make insulin calculations based not just on their personal needs, but on what time it is, what they\u2019ve been doing or not doing all day, if they have a head cold, if they are stressed, and so on. Pumps do replace shots, but they don\u2019t replace the constant mental and cognitive challenges that come with every single treatment decision every single hour of every single day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“My grandmother had diabetes and she was always really sick. I think she had some kind of stroke, too. Really, it was horrible. And to think if she just stayed away from those jelly doughnuts.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What I Thought:<\/em>\u00a0Oh, but a life without jelly doughnuts? Who would subject a kid to that? Better a short life with a glazed blueberry than a long life without, right?<\/p>\n

What I Said:<\/em>\u00a0In today\u2019s world, thankfully, those kind of complications are almost a thing of the past. I am so very glad we have seen the improvements we\u2019ve seen, like being able to know what a child\u2019s blood sugar is in almost an instant. Your grandma maybe didn\u2019t have that option. I\u2019m sorry for her suffering, but I\u2019m thankful to let you know that most likely is not my child\u2019s future.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“You should have just fed her right in the first place.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes what you think and what you say turn out to be exactly the same.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What I thought: Because I just don\u2019t love her enough. If I loved her more, her numbers would totally stabilize.
\nWhat I said: Type 1 diabetes means that the body does not produce insulin. And since the synthetic insulin and tools to track what it is doing in the body is still pretty crude compared to the workings of a real pancreas, there is nothing I can do to 100% \u201cregulate\u201d my child\u2019s blood sugar. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":37468,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1429,1435],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWell-Intended Diabetes Comments: What I Said and What I Thought<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You know those oh-so-annoying comments people make about diabetes, right? 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