{"id":37716,"date":"2015-03-27T10:35:03","date_gmt":"2015-03-27T14:35:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?post_type=feature&p=37716"},"modified":"2016-01-11T08:16:50","modified_gmt":"2016-01-11T13:16:50","slug":"dexcom-share-a-surprising-first-impression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/asweetlife.org\/?p=37716","title":{"rendered":"Dexcom Share: A Surprising First Impression"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n

With the Dexcom Share usage sweeping the diabetes community, my adult daughter with diabetes and I decided to experiment. She \u2013 the person with diabetes- would get one and let me look in on her life with diabetes for a while. She\u2019d see what it was like \u2013 after all these years of independence \u2013 to have someone oversee her diabetes life. I \u2013 the parent of someone with diabetes\u2014would see \u2013 after years of trusting her and supporting her from afar \u2013 if I could handle seeing how life goes for her minute by minute. As we go along, we plan to share what we learn and our feelings from both sides here at ASweetLife. We\u2019re only thirty six hours into it, so we have some learning to do. But I thought today I\u2019d share my first emotion, because it surprised me. Read on, and stay tuned for more on our experiences with the Dexcom Share.<\/em><\/p>\n

Lauren and I joked a lot about what my first reaction would be to seeing her blood sugars minute by minute. After all, she\u2019s twenty three, independent, smart and on top of it. It\u2019s been a long time since I\u2019ve even known two of her blood sugar readings on any given day.<\/p>\n

She guessed that within twenty minutes I\u2019d be stressed out and frustrated. I guessed that I\u2019d be champing at the bit to call her and yell \u201cCORRECT!\u201d We both figured it was going to be eye opening on both sides.<\/p>\n

So here I am, twenty six hours into seeing my daughter\u2019s constant blood sugars in real time with Dexcom Share. And I know what my first emotion is.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sad.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m really, terribly sad. And that takes me totally by surprise.<\/p>\n

Let me explain. It\u2019s been nearly eighteen years since Lauren was that tiny girl newly diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It\u2019s been almost two decades of living with the thick layer diabetes sets down over everything. And I want to say: we are all okay. I\u2019m one of those positive moms.<\/p>\n

Even though diabetes has always been a pain, a distraction, an expense both financially and emotionally, I long ago decided that was never going to rob Lauren \u2013 or any of us \u2013 of joy. So I raised her very much in the \u201csuck it up buttercup\u201d mode. Deal with it, live with it, and get on with life even with it there. And she has. I\u2019m proud of her life in Washington DC, five hundred miles away from me. She works hard all day at her job and has fun with her many friends in her off hours. She is living well and with joy.<\/p>\n

Raising her that way and accepting it allowed me, however, to live a little bit in denial. Her A1c\u2019s are okay, so life is okay. She looks and is healthy, so it is what it is.<\/p>\n

And then I tapped the screen and started the Share. At first it was a kick. 111 was the very first number that showed on my screen. How even of it! I thought. Secretly, I was kind of excited to see things fluctuate on the screen. I mean: this is cool. She\u2019s in DC. I\u2019m up in Vermont skiing. And I can see<\/em> what\u2019s going on up here. Then things started along. Lauren was at work, on what I knew was a very busy day. And diabetes was at work, too.<\/p>\n

Because here is what I forgot (well, rather: what I\u2019d pushed way back in the recesses of my mind): diabetes never rests. There is no \u201cremission.\u201d It\u2019s never \u201cstable.\u201d Inside my daughter\u2019s body is a constant war between manufactured insulin, carbs, stress, activity, inactivity, and more. Every single moment of every single day, diabetes messes with her.<\/p>\n

I forgot that.<\/em><\/p>\n

And now, the Share was reminding me. I watched her climb quite high in the morning (\u201cI\u2019m the queen of dawn phenom, mom!\u201d she reminded me. And since she is on a pump break, she has to live with it a bit). \u201cIt\u2019s not like I spike to five hundred,\u201d my \u201csuck it up buttercup\u201d kid told me. Then she started to plunge down. Really low, a half-hour before a scheduled lunch meeting with her boss. \u201cIt\u2019s so frustrating,\u201d she messaged me. \u201cWhy can\u2019t lows wait until right at lunch time? It\u2019s such a waste of calories!\u201d I also knew, while that low was probably rocking her body and mind, she was focusing on some huge work projects. A while later, she was shooting up. Did she forget to bolus for lunch? I wondered (but did not ask. I want to be right about me not freaking out even if I have to freak out silently to be right.) \u201cThat\u2019s a rebound from a low, Mom.\u201d She messaged me, as if reading my mind. \u201cAnd Mom? I feel fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sigh. \u201cI feel fine.\u201d She feels fine because this is all her body has known for nearly two decades. She feels fine because I raised her to suck it up and do her best even with diabetes on board. She feels fine because what other flipping choice does she have?<\/p>\n

My husband, who was on vacation skiing with me and also linked in, held up his screen at one point and said \u201cThis makes me just feel so bad for her.\u201d I get it.<\/p>\n

So here I sit, 26 hours into this, a mom who has been pretty victorious in her job of raising a child with a chronic incurable disease; a mom who is always, always telling parents of little ones diagnosed that \u201cIt\u2019s going to be okay. You\u2019ll find your new normal!\u201d I wasn\u2019t lying: you really do.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m sad today because I remember, fully, what a horrid thing Type 1 diabetes is for a person to endure. I\u2019m sad because I realize my rock star kid has been enduring this with a smile on her face for nearly her entire life. I\u2019m sad because while the Share is an amazing advancement, for now it means we can really only see it all more, not fix it all easier.<\/p>\n

My daughter is fine today. She just messaged me to look at her overnight after sharing with me how she handled a happy hour (she\u2019s brilliant. It\u2019s perfect!) She\u2019s at work again, digging into important projects. Her blood sugars are still showing in front of me, and she has a mom who has not freaked out.<\/p>\n

My goal for today is to continue watching and try to suck it up, buttercup. Because this is what it is.<\/p>\n

And it is what was given to us for now. I must share something else with my child now that I\u2019m in on the secret of what goes on in her body every moment: Courage<\/p>\n

She\u2019s smart and happy and successful and healthy, despite that war inside her. And while she cannot stop that fury of blood sugar madness much, I can work on my sadness.<\/p>\n

Just like those readings. One minute at a time.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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