Bisi\u2019s been out of school for almost a month, but I\u2019m still recovering from all the end-of-year parties\u2014the school potlucks, the classroom goodbyes, the treats after performances\u2014that are especially challenging when you\u2019re trying to help someone eat in a consistent, healthy, and low-carb way. It\u2019s another one of those times of year (like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine\u2019s Day, Easter, am I forgetting any?), that people seem to use as occasions to pile on the treats. One particular conversation has stuck with me, since I think it points to how ingrained the idea of food-as-reward is in our society, even in a school community that purports to pay close attention to serving healthy food (soda, juice, and ice cream have been banned from the school cafeteria but crispy kale and sweet potato fries are on the menu).<\/p>\n
Bisi\u2019s great teacher at her (also great) after school program was planning a party for about ten of the kids as an end-of-school reward. I called up the teacher, I\u2019ll call him Sam, to talk through the menu for the party, and how and when Bisi would give herself insulin. Bisi had told me that they were having pizza and soda, and asked me to pack her a diet soda she could have instead.<\/p>\n
When I talked with Sam, he told me the group would be doing a special outdoor game; then they\u2019d come inside a watch a movie. \u201cWe\u2019re serving pizza, soda, chips, and popcorn during the movie, and then I decided today to add on ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u201cUmm, okay, maybe I\u2019m more sensitive to this because I have to give Bisi medicine for everything she eats with carbs, but that seems like a lot of junk for her, and for all the other kids. Do they really need all those options?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam: \u201cDo you want me to ask her not to have some of that? Usually she\u2019s pretty good.\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u201cNo, that\u2019s not going to work. She\u2019s really excited about the party, she knows what\u2019s being served, and she\u2019s going to insist on having what the other kids have. What I\u2019m hoping is that you\u2019ll consider not serving the ice cream, since they\u2019re already having a lot of other treats.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam: \u201cYeah, I see where you\u2019re coming from, and I agree. We don\u2019t need to be giving the kids all that junk. I added on the ice cream because I happened to see it in the freezer, but they don\u2019t know about it, and they don\u2019t need it, so I think we can cut that part out. I feel like the kids have come to expect all these treats, so there\u2019s pressure to give it to them, and I don\u2019t necessarily agree with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u201cI think kids come to expect what they\u2019re given. In my experience, if a classroom teacher sets up the expectation that they\u2019re not going to give treats, and plans something else special instead, the kids are fine with it. I feel like kids are happy if they\u2019re given some sort of creative option that they don\u2019t usually get\u2014it doesn\u2019t have to be food.\u201d<\/p>\n
So no ice cream was served at the party, but it felt like an empty victory, especially because Bisi\u2019s blood sugar that night, after the pizza, popcorn, and chips, was horrible. What I wanted to say, but didn\u2019t quite have the guts, was that adults need to be the ones to set expectations, that kids will always push for more junk, and it\u2019s up to adults to tell them no, and to teach them that rewards don\u2019t always need to be related to food. I wanted to tell him that not only was I hoping he would skip the ice cream, but I didn\u2019t like the idea of most of the other food either. Really, wouldn\u2019t a little popcorn with the movie have been enough? And I wanted to tell him that even though the other kids didn\u2019t need a big dose of injected insulin with their pizza, treats like these, served to them over and over again until they become an expectation, weren\u2019t doing them any favors, either.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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