\u00a0<\/p>\n
The past two weeks my six-year-old daughter, who does not have type 1 diabetes, has been wearing an old, worn insulin pump pouch that belongs to her eight-year-old brother, who does have type 1 diabetes. In it she carries a Fisher Price doctor\u2019s beeper\u2014what she\u2019s been calling her \u201cpump.\u201d She asked to borrow a zip case that we used to fill with insulin, syringes and alcohol pads before my son switched to a pump. My daughter\u2019s using it to hold an oval-shaped pencil sharpener covered with aluminum foil\u2014her \u201cmeter.\u201d There\u2019s also a test strip container in which she\u2019s stuffed little paper strips, each dotted at the tip with a red marker\u2014blood for when she pretends to check her blood sugar. Her \u201cpicker\u201d is a short, fat marker, also covered with foil. At meals she\u2019s been asking her brother what she needs to do before she eats, copying his every move: wash hands, strip in meter, pick a fingertip, see the BG, count the carbs and bolus.<\/p>\n
My daughter\u2019s been taking her kit to her summer day-care program, dutifully \u201cchecking\u201d herself throughout the day. A couple of times she\u2019s asked me to check her \u201cfor real\u201d\u2014her words\u2014before bed (her BGs continue to be in range). Last night she asked me to check her during the night, as I do her brother, only with her fake meter.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve neither encouraged nor discouraged any of this. She seems genuinely interested\u2014almost excited\u2014about the idea of having diabetes. Her brother, perhaps used to his sister\u2019s lively imagination, takes it all in stride, patiently showing and explaining.<\/p>\n
Diabetes has been a constant in our lives for many years, so my daughter\u2019s sudden modeling of her brother caught me by surprise. When my son was first diagnosed, my daughter was just a toddler. She\u2019d choose the moments when we were giving injections or dealing with a hypo to have a meltdown. Nowadays she\u2019ll fetch a juice box if her brother needs one or run inside from the kids\u2019 tree fort to report that her brother feels low.<\/p>\n
My husband and I have always tried to give the kids equal attention\u2014and we don\u2019t include medical attention in that equation. Regardless, after enough years it\u2019s easy to forget what life is like for the sibling of a person with type 1 diabetes.<\/p>\n
According to Dr. Rebecca Ruid, a psychologist at the University of Vermont Medical Center who has worked with hundred of families dealing with type 1 diabetes, my daughter\u2019s pretending to be a person with type 1 diabetes is an example of how kids \u201coften process and work through their feelings through imaginative play. It\u2019s their way of making sense of the world and their experiences. It also allows them to process trauma, which can include having a sibling hospitalized and\/or diagnosed with a chronic medical illness.\u201d<\/p>\n
So does my daughter really wish she had diabetes? Dr. Ruid says that her recent behavior \u201cis likely her way of understanding her brother\u2019s\u2014and the entire family\u2019s\u2014experience and making it a part of her life story.\u201d<\/p>\n
The most important thing to convey to anyone is the validity of their feelings. This remains true for siblings of children with type 1 diabetes. Some siblings may feel sad, others jealous, others angry. You might say, \u201cIt makes sense you feel that way. I bet lots of brothers\/sisters feel that way sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important for siblings to know that their feelings are \u201cnormal\u201d and understandable. I encourage parents not to try to change feelings a sibling has, but instead offer ways in which they can process and understand their feelings and come to terms with them. It\u2019s common to want to jump in and point out why their feeling should change or may not reflect what you would expect them to feel. Avoid saying things like, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t be jealous\u2014your sister has to get shots every day! Would you want that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Approaching subjects with children often involves following their lead. When they don\u2019t understand something, they most often ask, creating an entry point to discussion. Make sure to clarify what it is, exactly, that your child is asking; adults often provide more information than is being sought, which can be over-stimulating, particularly for younger children.<\/p>\n
Siblings might show nonverbal signs of curiosity, such as watching during part of the diabetes regimen or grimacing during injections. You might offer support by saying something like, \u201cI\u2019m noticing you watch when we give your sister her insulin. Do you have any questions about that?\u201d Or, \u201cI see that you grimace when we check your brother\u2019s blood sugar. Are you thinking that it hurts?\u201d Don\u2019t give up if your child responds with a shoulder shrug or an \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d Simply revisit the question another time.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important for children to understand that diabetes is not contagious, that they will not get diabetes by spending time with someone who has it.\u00a0The exact cause of type 1 diabetes is unknown. In most people with type 1 diabetes, the body\u2019s own immune system\u2014which normally fights harmful bacteria and viruses\u2014mistakenly destroys the insulin-producing islet cells in the pancreas.\u00a0Though we know that genetics plays a role in diabetes, there is nothing we can do to predict or prevent it.\u00a0Reassure siblings that, if they are later diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, it is not the result of something that they did wrong\u2014just like his\/her sibling did nothing wrong\u2014and that the family is well equipped to successfully cope with and manage it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The past two weeks my six-year-old daughter, who does not have type 1 diabetes, has been wearing an old, worn insulin pump pouch that belongs to her eight-year-old brother, who does have type 1 diabetes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":44049,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1430],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n