After putting it off for a week I went to do my blood test on Monday morning. This morning I got the results and I feel like I a failure. I was expecting my HbA1c to be higher than my last result but somehow I hoped it wouldn’t be that far off. After improving my HbA1c in two consecutive blood tests, going from 6.8 to 6.3 and then to 6%, I found myself this morning staring at the results on my computer in disbelief. My A1c is 6.8 again. I thought I was off to a new start and now I find myself back where I was 9 months ago. When I got my last result three months ago, I was so happy. I felt as if I accomplished something great (silly but true). Today I feel like a failure (even after a very good morning run).
Pleased with the success of my last two results I had promised myself, even made a new year’s resolution that I would continue to do better. I want my HbA1c to be under 6.
But sometimes things are easier said than done. Instead of continuing to closely monitor what I eat, checking blood sugar levels often, I’ve let myself go a little. My training called for an increase in the amount of carbohydrates I ate, which should have been accompanied by tighter control. But it seems success went to my head.
What makes diabetes so hard is that it just never ends. There is no off-season or time for a break. Unlike endurance training there is no post race break. When you get the results of your latest blood work you’re already running the next race.
So, just like after a disappointing marathon, it’s time to get back on track and try to do better, learning from mistakes and trying not to make them again.
Next time, three months from now, I hope to be in a better mood with a result I can be proud of.