The Rotterdam marathon is just a few days away and I’ve been sick with some kind of virus which has kept me from running. I skipped my Sunday 10 mile run and it looks as if I may not be able to run on Tuesday or Wednesday either, which is hard. I feel stressed about not completing my training according to plan – which I rationally know doesn’t really matter a week before the race. But it’s also just frustrating because I like to run.
I don’t run just because it helps me control my blood sugar levels and maintain my weight. I could achieve those things with much shorter runs and other forms of exercise (no one needs to wake up at 4:00 am to run 2-3 hours). I became a long distance runner because it’s fun. Yes, it can be difficult, even very difficult at times, and it doesn’t always feel like fun but ultimately, it is.
Every runner has the runs that he enjoys most. I love running in the rain and I love seeing knew places while I run (whenever I go somewhere new I always take a map and go for a run). I love the feeling of total exhaustion after a long race, the feeling of having overcome the challenge that lay before me. I feel like I’ve won, even if I’ve come in thousands of places behind the winner.
I love having time alone.
Diabetes, however, is not fun. While the challenge aspect has a lot in common with running – both are about discipline and self control – there is nothing fun about it. Ever. There is nothing fun about counting carbs and denying myself food that I love. (And poking yourself with needles isn’t fun either)
Diabetes and long-distance running both feel like struggles, but diabetes is a tough and life threatening struggle with very little glory, and one where the race never ends.