The hospital provided Finn with that break, not from chronic illness, but from being different. Diabetes camp is often celebrated for offering kids exactly this—much needed relief from being different. Although in the hospital, he was the lone patient with Type 1 diabetes, he was by far the most regular kid on the unit. So even though he had to get an injection before each meal, he was surrounded by kids who had much more cumbersome treatments.
The psychologist continued to report what Finn had told her as he leaned against me with his face buried against my shoulder. She had asked him, Are you thinking of hurting yourself? (He said yes.) How? (He reported that he wanted to bash his head in with a baseball bat.) How likely are you to do it, on a scale from zero/not really going to, to ten/absolutely certain? (He’d rated the likelihood a seven.) I was floored. But I was not horrified, because I didn’t believe he could really be thinking any of those things.