If I have to die, I would like to die running.
I was in New York City for a couple days and went out early last Thursday for a run. Central Park is one of my favorite places to run and it was a beautiful but cold day. (I dream of running in the NY marathon one day.) The first few miles were cold and not being used to such kind of weather, I suffered. But after a few miles I warmed up and started to fully enjoy the run. To add a few miles I decided to run around the reservoir a few times. It was great and I found myself running at a fast pace and on a real high. My body felt great, almost machine like. And then I had my thought. If I have to die, I would like to die running.
It’s not as if I plan on dying any time soon or not doing my best to live a long and healthy life, but this is a thought I have quite often when I run.
I don’t know if diabetes has anything to do with it or if having a disease just makes you much more aware of the possibility of an early unexpected death, or maybe it has something to do with losing a parent early in life (my father died of Hodgkin’s disease when I was four).
Maybe everyone thinks this way or maybe all runners do, but just don’t talk about it. Or maybe all diabetics do.
In any case, if I have to die any time soon, I would like to die running.
This made me think.
I’m not a runner. When I am hiking or skating — two activities that bring me physical joy — my thoughts are more along the lines of: “I hope I can feel this way forever.” In other words, I hope I never lose the ability to skate or to walk. I want to be a 75 year old woman who can still bend over to tie her own skates and then glide out onto the ice.
During such times, I do not think of dying.
Interesting.