Talking to Myself: A Conversation with Jessica Apple

I confess: I’m doing something I swore I wouldn’t do.  I’m eating carbs and not checking my blood sugar.  But wait, before you judge and before you allow yourself to visualize me totally losing control and participating in a pie eating contest, or getting edible hair extensions made of Twizzlers, please give me the benefit of the doubt.  I’m not going all out on carbs.  Just a few bites here and there.  But I know those bites have a big impact on my blood sugar.  I know that if I checked, there is a good chance I’d see  numbers like 180, maybe 200.  And I know that if I saw those numbers on the glucometer, I would panic, and stop the snacking.  But I haven’t been checking.  Why not?  Actually, this is a complex issue and since I’m confused, I will interview myself to try to find out what’s going on with me.

JA: Why aren’t you checking your blood sugar?

JA: The blood.  The blood is driving me crazy.

JA: Please explain.

JA: (whining) I don’t want to prick my fingers or my forearm.  I just don’t.  I don’t want to see blood.  I don’t want to think about blood.  It upsets me, it grosses me out, and it makes me anxious.

JA: Jess, baby, blood sugar checks are where it’s at in diabetes care.  Don’t let a little drop of blood freak you out.

JA: What if I get germs from an unclean lancet?

JA: C’mon… most diabetics only change their lancets on the occasion of a total solar eclipse.  You allow cats to sleep on your head.  You have no right to worry about a little lancet bacteria.  The question you should be asking now is, what’s up with the carbs?

JA: I don’t know.  Ever since I started to make homemade granola for the kids, I’ve been craving cereal.

JA: So make low-carb granola with nut flour and use no sugar added almond milk.

JA: (growls)  And what should I use to hold it together, Silly Putty?  The granola will taste like that anyway.  By the way, weren’t you shocked that your friend from Austria didn’t know what Silly Putty was?

JA: We’re getting nowhere.

JA: Oh, but the rest of the world is going places.  Will and Kate are married.  Bin Laden is dead. The universe is a better place.

JA: And you can be a better diabetic.  Be all you can be.  Don’t let diabetes slow you down.  Diabetes doesn’t have to stop you, you can stop diabetes.

JA: Slogans don’t work on me.

JA: Maybe a good psychiatrist would.

To be continued…

Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and has continued to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets).

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Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and continues to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets). Jessica’s work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The Financial Times Magazine, The Southern Review, The Bellevue Literary Review, Tablet Magazine, and elsewhere. She is the diabetes correspondent for The Faster Times. In 2009 she and her husband, both type 1 diabetics, founded A Sweet Life, where she serves as editor-in-chief. Jessica loves spending time with her sons, cooking with her husband, playing with her cats, reading, biking, drinking coffee, and whenever possible, taking a nap. Follow Jessica on Twitter (@jessapple)