Lose to count

A private thread
inturned loose
red and not wool
a private thread and
I run my finger along it

not a day not a moment
pauses the count
one and two we
march and three
and four and a private
thread runs

through it and
she learns the count
one and two
times three
once more there
is a pattern she
insists a code
a message it is
here

a common thread and
counting it tightens
what is the count
how many millimoles
and molecules
what is the count
how many nooses
about her spine
one red thread and
the sodium channels
fire and one and
two and
come up for air

one day one day
one day and only one
I will stop
the count breath
breath deciliter gram
I will not count
anymore a private thread
tie it to a poppy
run it through the field
red thread blue sky
uncountably many
let go and I
fall she walks on flowers
a blessed thing
to lose the count
loose the thread.

Karmel Allison

Karmel was born in Southern California, diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of nine, and educated at UC Berkeley. Karmel now lives in San Diego with her husband, where she is loving the sunshine, working in computational biology at the University of California, San Diego, and learning to use the active voice when talking about her diabetes.

Karmel Allison

Karmel was born in Southern California, diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of nine, and educated at UC Berkeley. Karmel now lives in San Diego with her husband, where she is loving the sunshine, working in computational biology at the University of California, San Diego, and learning to use the active voice when talking about her diabetes.