Ode to a NOD Mouse

When I shred you
bone from bone
a snap and a tendon
sunflower seeds of flesh
stick to my fingers
I swear I didn’t mean it

 

Martyr and yet I
wonder do I feel bad
or do I feel bad
for not feeling
so bad flesh and my
neck aches my brow
sweats the backs
of my knees

 

You are dead
and I think of my knees
and my success my
future my dreams
carried like ribbon
between the scaffolds
of your skeleton

 

In death life I
tell myself but
in truth life you
lost and God I thank
not that you are
there so much as
I am not

 

So here
in retrospect I
thank you your bones
the marrow I
split and spit
through and please
I ask please forgive me
for not hurting more.

Karmel Allison
Karmel Allison

Karmel was born in Southern California, diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of nine, and educated at UC Berkeley. Karmel now lives in San Diego with her husband, where she is loving the sunshine, working in computational biology at the University of California, San Diego, and learning to use the active voice when talking about her diabetes.

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kathy
12 years ago

I worked in animal research for several years.  It is hard sometimes.  
But there is no other way.  The early phases of medical testing cannot be done in people.
But the research is necessary to save people’s lives.

Its a necessary evil with consequences that override its negative moral aspects.

You’re doing a good thing.  Thank  you. 

Sally
Sally
12 years ago

Karmel, what you are doing in your research will someday save many lives.  You are brave and have so much to offer the medical world and humankind. Keep up the great work and when you need to vent, create another poem of tender sensitivity like this one. 

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