This is my first time participating in diabetes blog week, and I’m pretty excited about it! I’m hoping to blog about a predetermined topic concerning diabetes each day from now, May 12th, until May 18th. Without further ado, here’s my response to the first prompt!
I think that the diabetes issue that gets me the most fired up is simply the fact it exists. In my last blog post, I talked about how a meal – yes, a typical dinner – turned into an emotional roller coaster for me when my blood sugar started dropping and then rising unpredictably. Instead of having a few extra hours to study for my finals, I had to spend that time carefully monitoring myself to make sure there were no more inexplicable spikes or drops. It was mentally exhausting and it was no wonder that the rest of the evening was fairly unproductive for me. All over freakin’ food and a possible miscalculation on my part. It’s ridiculous.
Times like that make me feel as though others who don’t have diabetes take the little things for granted. One example that comes to mind is the dinner my family and I had together yesterday for Mother’s Day. We went out to a restaurant, which is always a little risky for people with diabetes seeing as nutrition facts aren’t always easily accessible. Luckily, my mom and I had the idea to use my smart phone to look up the menu and see which items were listed online. This strategy worked well for us, but I still went with a lower-carb dinner choice of chicken and veggies to guarantee a good blood sugar later. In addition, my pre-dinner blood sugar wasn’t ideal, so I didn’t want to risk irritating it with a starchier meal. As my mom and I were doing all this planning and arithmetic for dinner, I watched as my brother and my dad went for second and third slices of bread and drink their alcoholic beverages without any second (or third) thought. My mind went into overdrive as I started thinking about how many carbohydrates they were consuming and how their blood sugars would be sky high – and then I realized, no, they have working pancreases.
Don’t get me wrong here, I am very grateful for the fact that my brother and my dad are healthy and don’t have to worry about diabetes related issues to the same extent that mom and I do. And I know that they feel badly for us, especially when we’re dealing with extra diabetes stress. I guess the main point I’m trying to make is that I’m a little jealous of those who don’t have to go through all the mental leaps and bounds that I do when it comes to eating a simple meal. They get to enjoy and experience their food a little more than I’m allowed to sometimes. I feel kind of silly for being jealous over these trivial things, but that’s just one of the other effects diabetes has on me.
So, I am very resentful of diabetes and the unnecessary emotions it makes me go through. That’s why I say without hesitation that I get most passionate about diabetes’ existence, and why I’m so determined to have it cured one day.
Well Said! I totally get resentful at my non-D friends and family. Especially when we’re having appetizers and drinks. Although I’ve recently discovered the square-wave function on my pump I’m waiting for the next opportunity to try it out.
I don’t think it’s trivial to wish that you could eat without thinking about diabetes! It’s a huge emotional burden, and it’s exhausting. Thanks so much for putting your experience into words.