The question, for day 4 of Diabetes Blog Week: Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day. Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day. Is there something positive you tell yourself? Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through? Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost?
What I tell myself to get through the anxieties and failures of diabetes is the same thing I tell myself for anxieties and failures in the rest of life: And one day I’ll die, and none of this will have mattered. When standing at the pearly gates, no one will ask how many times my blood sugar was over 200 mg/dL. They might ask about the sins of temptation got me to that point, or about the patience and grace (!) with which I responded, but the numbers themselves? I can only imagine we’re the only ones counting.
And from another angle: the edges of biology are blurry. It matters that I am a diabetic, and that my blood sugar is not euglycemic. But this time? This instance of my being 264? A drop in the bucket. The idea is to reduce the overall load, but freaking out at this instance of hyperglycemia won’t save me much. Reacting quickly and efficiently is good, but, hey, I’ve been here before, and there’s no reason to panic.
Of course, that’s what I tell myself. What I do and feel is another story. Much like that part of me that gets a pit in my stomach if I’m late– even if the deadline I’m late for is self-imposed and completely invisible to the rest of the world– there is no helping it sometimes. So in the end, perhaps the most important thing I tell myself is, Breathe, work through it, and evaluate what happened on the other side. Que sera, sera.
I too am affected by readings above my comfort ranges because each of us has conformed to a standard of numbers. Our waking (and sleeping) lives depend on remaining within the boundaries; of which we believe are the most beneficial for our well being. It is the anchor and the lifeline that separates us from many others in this world of unpredictability.
I accept my condition, but also fear it’s consequences because I am fully aware what hypoglycemia has the potential of offering me in a time of unpreparedness and unawareness.