Halloween Costumes Only People with Diabetes Will Understand

If ASweetLife threw a Halloween party it would, of course, be a diabetes-themed event. But the last thing anyone wants to do is dress up as a freaking glucose meter.  Or worse, a CGM that beeps all through the party.   And then…  you can’t dress up as a syringe or everyone will think you’re a  prick.  

You know what happened to me last time I wore my paper mache metformin costume?  My endo mistook me for a generic statin and everyone else thought I was the moon.

So, what are some of the best diabetes-themed costumes for the party we aren’t really planning? I shared the question with my friends and we racked our brains for diabetes costume ideas while we carved teal pumpkins and imagined a party where candy didn’t scare us.  Yep, you read that right.  There is nothing more haunting than the bolus you would have to take to cover three Hershey’s kisses, a mini pack of Life Savers, a roll of Smarties, half a Twix, and a Tootsie Pop.  There is no shriek more terrifying than the one that rips out of you when your glucose meter says HI. So, it’s a good idea to avoid the roller coaster and focus on costumes. (Or try some of these ideas for a low carb Halloween.)

With the creativity of Moira McCarthy, Melissa Lee, and Jacquie Wojick, I present you with a list of Halloween costumes only people with diabetes will understand.  Happy Halloween!  

Because diabetes sucks.

Because diabetes is 24/7

Because someone asked if you’re well-controlled 

Because diabetes is disobedient.

Because it cures diabetes 

Because you spotted someone else with a pump in the wild. 

Because you’ve been high all day 

Because you’ve been high all day

Because sugar free candy

Because hypoglycemia

Because you’re going to your endo appointment 

Because diabetes is shitty

Because it was a gusher

Because you’ve been cured

Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and has continued to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets).

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Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and continues to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets). Jessica’s work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The Financial Times Magazine, The Southern Review, The Bellevue Literary Review, Tablet Magazine, and elsewhere. She is the diabetes correspondent for The Faster Times. In 2009 she and her husband, both type 1 diabetics, founded A Sweet Life, where she serves as editor-in-chief. Jessica loves spending time with her sons, cooking with her husband, playing with her cats, reading, biking, drinking coffee, and whenever possible, taking a nap. Follow Jessica on Twitter (@jessapple)