I’m Mad At My Diabetes—And That’s Okay

Lately, I’ve been mad at my diabetes.

I’m mad at it for being so unpredictable.

I’m mad at it for interfering with my enjoyment of life.

I’m mad at it because it prevents me from getting a good night of sleep every night.

I’m mad at it because it makes me self-conscious of my body.

I’m mad at the high blood sugars it causes that turn me into a grouch.

I’m mad at the low blood sugars it causes that make my appetite insatiable.

I’m mad at it because it forces me to wear devices 24/7.

I’m mad at it because those devices never seem to shut the hell up.

I’m mad at it for putting me on this emotional roller coaster.

I’m mad at it for the strain it can put on my loved ones.

I’m mad.

I’m mad, and it’s okay.

Diabetes makes me feel an array of emotions at varying times. It’s chaotic to go through these, but it’s also to be expected. And that’s perfectly acceptable. I’ve discovered that the best coping mechanism with which to deal with these emotions is to simply acknowledge their presence. I admit what I’m feeling, put it into words if I need to, and get back on the wagon when I’m in a better state of mind.

I’m mad at my diabetes lately, and that’s okay because my anger won’t get to the best of me.

Molly Johannes

Molly Johannes was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 1997 at the age of four. She controls her diabetes with an OmniPod insulin pump, Dexcom continuous glucose monitor, and daily exercise. Molly graduated cum laude from the University of Massachusetts Amherst in December 2014 with a degree in English. Currently, she works fulltime as an associate editor for a financial company. In her spare time, Molly enjoys spending time with her loved ones, reading books, watching movies, and playing games. She’s an avid fan of Disney, dark chocolate, wine, Harry Potter, and fun times. While Molly does not know a life without diabetes, she is determined to defy the daily obstacles the disease presents.

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Molly Johannes

Molly Johannes was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 1997 at the age of four. She controls her diabetes with an OmniPod insulin pump, Dexcom continuous glucose monitor, and daily exercise. Molly graduated cum laude from the University of Massachusetts Amherst in December 2014 with a degree in English. Currently, she works fulltime as an associate editor for a financial company. In her spare time, Molly enjoys spending time with her loved ones, reading books, watching movies, and playing games. She’s an avid fan of Disney, dark chocolate, wine, Harry Potter, and fun times. While Molly does not know a life without diabetes, she is determined to defy the daily obstacles the disease presents.