A Shut-Eye High

I just sat down to blog (I actually had a serious subject in mind) and felt my eyes starting to close.  I am tired -for sure – but this is a different kind of eye-closing.  This is what I call shut-eye high.  The high, of course, refers to my blood sugar.  I just checked and the meter says 191.  It’s been months since I’ve seen a number over 180.

Since my son is in the next room, I’m stopping myself from shouting out the F-word and instead, I’m going to blog out my frustration.  Hearing Mike saying the word insulin in a sing-song voice (as in hint, hint, you should take some), is yet another source of frustration.  Shouldn’t he, of all people, know better?

I have a very complicated relationship with insulin right now because I’m breastfeeding, which actually lowers my blood sugar.  I don’t like to find myself going low while I’m holding the baby, so I would rather ride a little high.  And I have been okay with finding myself at 150 -160 after meals, but 191 is just too high.  (Side note: sometimes I have giant anxiety attacks about what if Mike and I both go low while we’re sleeping.  So I’d rather be a little high at bedtime then face that.  Mike has fairly frequent nighttime lows.  Even if I don’t hear him get out of bed to go eat, in the morning I know what’s happened by the food wrappers and containers that he leaves on the counter).

I haven’t been exercising regularly for the last few weeks and this too has wrecked havoc on my blood sugar control. Control, control, control.  I need some.  I hereby pledge to count my carbs for real.  And I’m going to start moving again, no less than a two-mile walk in the morning!  I would go on, but my face is about to hit the keyboard.  And the baby is starting to cry…

But one more thing: I took this quiz, Are You Attached To Sugar.  It obviously isn’t designed for diabetics, but I really appreciated the photo of the loaf of bread flowing into sugar cubes.  My result says that I have an unhealthy relationship with sugar.  Go figure.

Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and has continued to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets).

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Jessica Apple

Jessica Apple grew up in Houston. She studied Bible and Ancient Near Eastern Studies at the University of Michigan, and completed an MA in the same field at the Hebrew University. She began to write and publish short stories while a student, and continues to write essays and fiction while raising her three sons (and many pets). Jessica’s work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The Financial Times Magazine, The Southern Review, The Bellevue Literary Review, Tablet Magazine, and elsewhere. She is the diabetes correspondent for The Faster Times. In 2009 she and her husband, both type 1 diabetics, founded A Sweet Life, where she serves as editor-in-chief. Jessica loves spending time with her sons, cooking with her husband, playing with her cats, reading, biking, drinking coffee, and whenever possible, taking a nap. Follow Jessica on Twitter (@jessapple)